I passed many stages of my life where i tried to find myself. It was difficult for me to establish my true identity because i was the 4th of 6 children hence a middle child. I had 2 elder brothers and an elder sister which is older by 6 years. By the time i was in Grade 1, my sister is already in high school and already had a distinct personality. I can’t imitate my elder brother who is 1 year older than me because i was feminine even at a young age. So it imperative that i have to find my own.
Later in life – after college, i realized i am different from my siblings. I always say i speak like my mother (who is Laguindinganon) but my disposition and character are that of my father. In my familty, i was the one who always serve my siblings, who helps my parents earn money that until now, my role remains the same. I’m not resenting but i long for a different role.
My children have the same predicaments now. They are all girls and they are trying to develop distinct personalities. Sometimes, i find it difficult to let them what they want to be. But i’ll try even if it hurts.
According to Dr. Scklare, finding yourself without hurting the people you love is not always possible. If you have a good foundation with those people and a history of love and communication, this becomes a whole lot easier because finding yourself is developmental in nature and occurs over time. The potential for hurt is greatly diminished if we are honest and open communication is in place. After all, these people you love are an integral part of your past, and as a result, they have already influenced the intimate fabric that eventually creates your identity.
