Today, i decided to start my blog. I feel that i have to connect to people like i was before. Just a little information for those who don’t know me, i was connected with a government office for 22 years in my home country where i worked with the private sector. I used to do inspection, assessment and training to our clients. I miss the time i had with them. As a couple, me and my husband were also very active in our catholic community and we used to pastor couples and gave them advises on how to make their marriage work. We left three children in the Philippines when we came to the USA to find greener pastures. So, the topics of my blogs would be about relationships, parenting, faith and my expertise which are quality assurance and productivity.
To start with, i would like to share this nine (9) ways to make your marriage exciting. ( Sorry, i forgot the author’s name).This was a topic on Today’s show here in New York City two months ago.
1. Take time together. This is the most important for the relationship cannot flourish if couples don’t see each other. I live separately. I work as a full-time caregiver 24/7 in NY while my husband works in New Jersey but we see each other 2x a week for he comes in my workplace on Saturdays and Mondays. We always ensure to make these two days very special.
2. Take time apart. Each one needs space to do things of her own. I’m very comfortable when my husband is not with me for the rest of the week. I have more time for myself and to do my reading, writing, praying, work-out, talk with friends and many more. I think my husband also likes our arrangement because he’s not complaining and he seems to be “happy” with the way we are.
3. Take care of yourself. The author of the book said that this is the area mostly neglected by both parties. I’ve been married for 22 years but i’m proud to say, i still maintain my figure when i was single. I weight 112 lbs on my 5″ frame. I do a one-hour exercise daily and i’m very particular on my food intake. My husband also maintains his bachelor look and he don’t seem to age since the day we married.
4. Ctiticize gently. Be prudent in the use of words when pointing out some negative traits of our spouse. Never, never hit the other’s ego nor his upbringing when criticizing. For the years we married, we never use words that hurts. But this area needs more study and practice. So do some research.
5. Communication is two-ways. There is a time to talk and a time to listen. When our husband is angry or upset, let him talk and we have to listen but husbands, beware, there is also time for the wife to talk and you’ll listen. This way, any problem can be worked out before it is blown out of proportion.
6. Courting and romance. The author said we have to maintain the excitement of courtship and romance. My husband don’t give me flowers except on valentine’s day ( financially, we can’t afford it), but he do a lot of sweet talks. It seems corny but i listen and i tried to be romantic too. We go on dates once a month and on our wedding anniversary. We agreed to watch romantic movies together to enhance our relationship. We also make it a habit to recall our pre-marriage days and it’s really exciting. Try it.
7. Terms of Endearment. We should call our spouse a different name. For us, we use the word ” Langa”. This is our own dialect of care or love. Never call your spouse ‘Papa” or “Mama” coz it’s not appropriate especially when we grow and look older than the other.
8. Review and renew your commitment. We have to remember the promise we made ” to love till death do us part”. It’s good to attend weddings and annversaries. If possible, attend a christian community that gives importance to marriage like our own community, the Couples for Christ. For information, pls. log on to http://www.cfcglobal.org.
9. Always kiss goodnight. The old adage is still true, not to let the sunshine set without kissing your spouse, which means all problems must be settled by end of the day. On our present situation, we cannot kiss goodnight because we’re not together every night but we do it by phone. Honestly, i cannot sleep until my husband is home and said his goodnight.
Hope what i share will help your relationship with your spouse. More next time. Good night.
